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Tuesday, October 25, 2016

MISHKA IS 2!

finally,terhasil jugak entry ni...walaupun lambat sebulan..hehehehe...sebelum masuk birthday mishka darius ke 3,baik settlekan..hahahaha.....sorry sayang, kurang sangat cerita awak dalam blog mama berbanding kakak dulu...tapi sayang mama xde kurang pun dari kakak ok...
darius tetap hero avengers mama ok...

#mishkaturns2


kek sponsor by pengasuh darius....

so,on 29.09 tu bawak nia and mishka to wondermama,bangsar village..saja bawak diorg makan luar walaupun kek ada kt rumah,xbawak pun kek g wondermama...sbb on 30.09 tu their father nak amik budak2,so kita kuar makan in advance la that day..just a simple dinner 3 of us and a friend of mine... budak2 ni,bukan kisah sgt pun kalau tak makan luar tp sebab dah biasa bila ada occasion kita makan luar,bday kakak hari tu pun kita g mkn luar,adil la sikit dgn adik kan...

jgn terpedaya belon pink,tu props je....hahahahaha

ok,that night i order salted egg chicken madness burger...yummeh sedap oi...actually,wondermama ni mostly dishes sesedap...my friend order  mum nyonya laksa,sedap gak..and then air sirap bandung,and my fav dessert cendol memalam..hahahaha..tp check2 pic makanan xde plak amik..ada pic mishka and his birthday burger je....oh,burger tu potong 4 u alls,share2 je sbb kat rumah ade sebijik kek sedang menanti..hahaha....


mishka and his birthday burger...dia mmg jenis pemakan punya budak....


mama and the birthday boy....


my avengers and rapunzel!

how u not fall in love with this smile?????

you will fall in love with his so handsome smile tu,tp you also can fall down running around with him la...sekarang kalau g makan luar penat ngejar dia keliling restoren bila dah settle makan...hahaha.. well, thats is the nature and experience you never get it twice..how i wish i will not missing any single proud moments for both of them..their 1st time for anything, everything...but life not always on your side right...kene la share2 sikit..huhuhu...

he grow ups tooo fast...sekejap je dah 2 tahun....

mama harap,nanti harith mishka darius dah besar,mishka tetap jadi lelaki yang terbaik untuk semua.. untuk mama,untuk kakak,untuk keluarga...mama tak dapat penuhi semua kehendak tapi mama cuba penuhi semua keperluan mishka,dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki...i never a good mother,but i will keep trying to be the person you can rely on,the person you can count on, the person you can share,the person you can trust,the person you always need...You are one of the greatest gift i ever had beside Nia...

definition of picture perfect....hahahahaha.....

atas tu last pic sebelum kitorg balik..that day kakak xde mood langsung nk amik pic..semua pic pun muka nak nangis...geram je mama...currently its just 3 of us...huhuhu..xde penambahan ahli keluarga lagi...doa la,moga i can bring my babies away from malaysia one day...hhuhuhu..( reason why Allah didnt hear my dua kot....)hahahahaha...

Balik rumah tu kitorg terus siap2 nak potong kek..sebenarnya kakak tunggu yang ini la..hahaha... dia ingat ayu bawak kek tu g wondermama tadi...hahaha...smpai rumah dia dah siap2 dengan lilin,dengan usung cake topper i buatkan untuk mishka....


mama nia mishka


hadiah untuk adik,kakak pun mesti la ada....

till we meet again at Nia birthdays next year...huhuhuhu.....

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

HE GONNA TURN 2

he gonna turn 2 this coming 30th....

xde pun plan bday party or whatsoever...last year we go to Lombok and having his first beach vacay...
thn ni macam xsempat nak plan pape..life mcm busy tp i think,tetibe je dah September,lg 3 bulan dah 2017...cepatnya masa berlalu....

remember this cheeky boy take lombok last year??tahun ni mishka take home je la...hahaha...
kita saving ye syg...lagi 3 thn k,kita g disneyland...(oh my,entry lombok pun tergantung day last xde entry lagi...muahahahahaha)


so far,mishka dah nak 2 tahun,he such a wonderfull boy.he never fails to take anyone heart...jgn nanti dah besar you play with women heart sudah la ye mishka...stay loyal to ur women..ehhhhh...
dah pandai bina ayat...ayat fav dia skrg,nya uat = nia buat....hahaha...dah pandai melakukan urusan jual beli=beli eskem patah kat rumah cik da...dah pandai macam2 la...u name it,he can do it...hehehe.

the day without him is like a day without sunshine..he was my daily dose,the only man i love now and forever...forever my baby boy...

siapa yg rindu mishka.........nah..............






how to not love this handsome guy????

wait for another 2 weeks..special entry especially for him..... :)

Thursday, June 2, 2016

AFTER A YEAR


its been a year....
seriously,time fly too fast....
Few people ask me,how it feel after a year of divorce...
What can i say,i feel good???i feel horrible?i feel sad?what was my feel?
Truthly,till now,i still doubt my feel...sometime i feel bad because i fail to protect our marriage...
the worsen is my babies have to experience it at young age..mishka only 8months when it happen..
But the other side me feel relieve...
i now, after a year,happily living my small slow life with my babies...ohh,i have no problem with the other side family..
afterall,they still part of my life, they still family for my babies...
i couldnt make them apart...
People who know me,know how i'm struggle to live my life after divorce.at age 29,mother of 2 and back single after 10years of relationship...
Truthly,not so much change in my life except the title..
i still mama to nia n mishka,my ultimate lover...
i have a job,i have a house,i have some saving,live a life is not a problem anymore..thank to ex for lessen my burden.i don't have to carry all the hatred and all the sin along with me..the sin bcoz of hating him...i now doesnt have to care for extra heart.reach home 5 minute after clock out,cook dinner for my baby,they have their dinner before 8pm..
What more a working mom want other then more time with their babies and i have that....thank to u,now i live my life to the fullest....
For those who asking,you live the life you are given,but you can make it worth  when you live your life the way you want it...
Ohhh,dont ask me about men,i have only one man now,Harith Mishka Darius...
who doesn't love this cheeky boy ???


and my forever princess wannabe???



its seem incomplete but we live to completed each other...they still have their father,well..we separated virtually,not their father is passing away...
its happily when you are 2,its meaningfull when you are 3,its great when you are 4 but its nothing wrong being 3 back....

and we good to be 3....



and we have a long walk to remember...i'll be okay as long my babies is great...
i'll be tough as long my baby is beside me...
i don't mind fall and fall and fall as i know i will stand up and stand up and stand up again...
and,thank you for those who lend your shoulder,give your hand and ear for me...
i'm not good at showing my gratitude,but i'm sincerely thank you for all the good words and support...
to my ultimate family who not leave me behind,
and my friend who stand by me all the time...
it just 1 person who leave me,the one who i love....
i dont loose anything as he lose me who love him...
and now i'm glad coz i'm being loved by so many people....



                                                                                                       ayu aman shah
                                                                                                       
                                                                                                       



Monday, March 14, 2016

NIA

pernah tak terlintas terdetik dalam minda
kenapa Allah jalankan hidup kita macamni
kenapa Allah jumpakan orang tu dengan kita
kenapa Allah bagi rasa yang berbagai dalam hati kita..
mestikan semua orang pernah ada rasa mcm tu,
terlintas terdetik kenapa macam ni,kenapa jadi macam tu
siapa kita nak lawan takdir Allah....
pernah tak fikir,macamana perasaan kita,macam tu jugak lah perasaan orang lain...
sebab Allah nak kau tahu,macamana hidup bila kau benci
macamana hidup bila kau memaafkan

memang aku tengah merindu,
rindukan anak puteri nan sorang tu....
tapi aku juga tahu,macamana aku rindukan dia,
macam tu jugak papa dia rindukan dia..
macam tu jugak nenek,atuk,pakngah,maklang,paksu dia rindukan dia.....
yang habis jodoh aku dengan dia,
bukan jodoh anak2 aku dengan mereka..
kalau yang menggembirakan Nia itu adalah disana,apa salahnya....
kalau yang membahagiakan semua hati2 yang aku sayang,
mana sampai hati aku nak ragut semua bahagia tu...
biarlah yang menangis aku
biarlah yang sakit aku
biarlah yang luka aku
biarlah yang mati aku
bukan anak-anak...

hidup ni untuk apa lagi
untuk anak-anak je yang tinggal
hidup ni untuk jaga hati siapa lagi
hati anak-anak...

tak de sorang pun yang aku mampu nak bercerita pasal anak...
tak de orang yang mampu aku nk luahkan...
the one who stay with me is only my pen...




how good/bad is someone to/for you,he/she is still someone you know,someone you love,someone you care,someone you miss....

Monday, February 29, 2016

YEAR END SALE : TIME TO GET THINGS CLEAR


NIKON D5100
PRICE : RM1400
CONDITION : 9/10 (rarely used)
comes with beg,tripd and standard lens





pm me via email or whatsapp 0122493452

Friday, February 19, 2016

YANG PALING

yang paling kau rindu,mungkin yang bukan kau tunggu
yang paling kau mahu,mungkin yang bukan kau perlu
yang paling kau sayang,mungkin yang bukan kau pegang
yang paling kau benci,mungkin yang bukan kau caci

dalam hidup banyak Yang Paling kau ada
tapi selalunya yang paling kau nak la yang paling jauh dari kau
sebab lumrahnya manusia,
kau suka yang paling kau susah nak dapat
kau suka yang paling orang tak sangka
kau suka yang paling kau boleh bangga
manusia kan,sebab umumnya aku pun begitu....

bila bercakap tentang hidup,apalah sangat pengalaman aku yang baru nak 30 tahun hidup....
tolak 12 tahun pertama yang langsung tak de masalah melainkan masalah kerja sekolah....
jadi 17 tahun selepas itu je yang ajar bahawa hidup kau yang kau dah rasa paling susah,
semua tu kau kena praktiskan untuk ajar anak kau yang hidup ni memang kena belajar dari yang paling susah...aku terima kasih kat Allah swt untuk 17 tahun hidup aku yang Allah uji selalu tu,boleh jadikan aku kuat nak hadap apa pun perasaan yang paling ada dalam hati aku ni...

kau rasa sakit kena tinggal cerai tu yang paling sakit?
tak,sakit nya waktu arwah papa and mama tinggalkan aku lagi sakit.kau takkan jumpa diorg lagi dah...
kau rasa sakit beranak tu yang paling sakit?
tak,sebagai anak aku paling sakit waktu tengok arwah mama aku sakitnya melawan penyakit dia,bahawa betapa sakitnya minda dan hati aku waktu tu bila ingat aku ni seorang anak yang tak dengar kata dulu....
kau rasa zaman kanak-kanak,remaja kau paling best?
zaman kanak-kanak dan remaja aku penuh dengan kisah nak hidup kau kena survive sendiri,nak hidup paling senang,in your dream....
dan banyak lagi yang paling gembira,sedih,sakit pernah aku rasa
tapi yang paling aku takkan lupa,
01.07.1998
05.01.2007
11.02.2011
26.06.2012
30.09.2014
11.05.2015

dan yang paling penting,
aku hidup atas kasih sayang dan semua memori indah mereka....


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

DEACTIVATED

dont find me in my fb anymore,i wont be there
dont wait for my pic at instagram coz i wont be updating anymore
dont expect me to know anything as i cutting out my self to social...
i do what i think i should
its hard to be me,don't judge me if you never know me,never step in my shoes....
yess,thank Allah for getting away my iPhone from me...
thank Allah for lessen my burden
He know and set up everything nicely for me...
there always rainbow after the rain..
for you and you and you and whoever out there,
live your life well and be good to all,to ALL ....
we will meet again one day...

i LOVE YOU
yess YOU
with all my heart.....