MOVE ON

for those who know...hahaha...life is chaos lately...
i am moving on..moving on with life...
its been 6 months already...
holding this title..hahaaha....walau tak ramai lagi yang tau....
life is getting better..sape kata senang nak move on..
even i'm trying only to remember the happiness moments,but of coz the pain does'nt go easily....
its easy to fall in love but its dying when seperating...
10 tahun bukan tempoh yang sekejap... 1/3 from my age are depending on him but now i have to depending by my self with those pretty lady and handsome boy...

people still keep asking me my story but i prefer to shut my mouth off.....
this kind of answer 'tak ada jodoh dah','Allah bagi pinjam sampai sini jer',that is my kinda answer...
but we cant shut people mouth..

so,my life is getting better....
kiddo still gets their mother and father loves unconditionally....
still tiada halangan untuk berjumpa..otherwise he still father to our babies....
lucky me,
i have my job
i have my family
i have my friend ( you know who you are!)
i have my support circle ( yess,singlemom is supermom!)
i have my beloved Hanania and Harith,itu paling penting!



jangan tanya lagi pasal pengganti
sebab mungkin susah nak tembus hati
jangan tanya pasal kahwin
memang bukan dalam imaginasi

sedang sedaya upaya memperbaiki hidup
yang lepas biarlah lepas
kita doakan yang baik2 saja...
semoga semua bahagia dengan pilihan hidup masing-masing
and this is the life that i choose
thank you for let me choosing....

thank you my ex husband.....

6 BULAN

Cuba sedayanya
Beri apa yang tidak dimiliki diri 
Kepada mereka yang selayaknya 
Terima apa saja didunia ini
Jangan rasa kecilnya diri anak2
Mama dulu pun membesar sendiri
Sendiri bukan makna kamu sendiri
Ada yang sayang jugak disisi
Itu yang penting

6 bulan yang pertama
we made it sayang2 mama
Hanania
Harith
moga tak kurang sikit pun
sayang mama
kasih mama

LOMBOK : A DAY AT GILI TRAWANGAN PART 2

ok..kita sambung balik cite tengahari di Gili T.dari sehari ke hari nak update tp skrg ngah busy minggu exam....hehehe..sorry, sebab tak banyak sangat gambar amik time ni..tangan penuh pegang anak..hehehe....

ok,around 2pm kitorg dapat gak naik cidomo ni...kitorg naik dengan sorg budak lagi rasanya yang bawak cidomo ni..bargain dapat lah idr200k pusing 1 gili t..kalau half smpai certain hotel dia amik idr150k...kena pandai bargain tau kat sini sbb kitorg ada dengar ada aunty n uncle ni diorang charge 2pax idr150/200k..padahal kitorg dapat naik ramai2 ni pusing 1 island idr200k..so,bargain k....

ni la rupa cidomo..memang muat untuk 4pax kalau dewasa...

the story bila naik cidomo ni..memang dapat tgk n pusing around gilit tapi bila smpai ada jalan2 dia yang masyaallah,sakit pinggang oi....i dengan pegang Mishka,peluk Nia...karang tercicir pulak anak2 tu nnt...nasib Mishka tak de niat nak terjun dari cidomo tu...hahahaha...

six of us!

pic kat cidomo yang sempat snap...hahahaha...lepas tu semua simpan fon sebab bergegar dalam cidomo tu..takut plak tercampak fon tu karang...then sbb pergi pulau ni,kitorg tak bawak gopro, kamera pulak xde bateri,ade fon jer..fon pun xmo la pulak nnt masuk dalam laut..hahahaha...so mane sempat je amik gambar....

ok,back to the tour...sampai la ke tempat typical lombok pic taken place...kat buaian Ombak Sunset tu...since kitorg pergi bukan waktu petang,kitorg smpai Ombak Sunset around 3pm mcm tu...tgh panas terik..hahaha..tapi nak jugak stop n amik gambar...typical lombok picture....padahal budak cidomo tu bgtau singgah dalam 10-14 minit..tapi rasanya kitorg dekat 30-40 minit jugak kat sini... nak amik pic kene beratur tgh panas tu..bygkan kalau dtg petang nk sunset tu???hahahaha..pk la sendiri...

the struggle to be 3 of us...

tapi...tapi....nak g kat buaian tu alahai..pantai dia banyak sea shell coral mati tu...sakit sangat tapak kaki nak pijak...i dah la bawak beban 30kg tu..dengan Nia dah penat time ni,dia nye melalak nak dukung tak mau jalan,bertabahlah jadi supermak...and dont worry,kalau tak de kamera ada je cameraman Ombak Sunset yang stay situ amik gambar...and nanti diorg bagi no,boleh g kat tmpt diorg and print it as souvenior..and yess,we did print our pic....ada mcm2 set dah lupa ape tapi kitorg amik yang ada 3 print and cd with all the pic yang diorg amik..it cost us idr500k..agak mahal tapi kitorg share ber3 jadilah sorg idr170k sorg....

ayu nia cika

friendship goals...hahaha

see,not so nice background sebab kitorg pergi tgh panas terik..bukan tengah sunset...so biasa jer latar nye....tapi demi tipikal lombok picture...hahahahaha.....and lucky i wear legging inside my skirt sbb kene gak berendam kaki tu nak naik buaian tu...hahaha....

a tips : its better to wear ur legging inside ur skirt sbb senang nak bergerak..kalau basah pun legging sajo yg basah...kalau tetibe nak stop tepi pantai pun,bukak je la kain sbb dh pakai legging inside...hehehe...bawak budak2 ni,tetibe je nmpk laut nak mandi la..nak main la...

muka budak tak de mood..mama nya pun sikit lagi nak tukar hijau

dah settle bergambar,pilih gambar,gambar siap then tetiba budak cidomo kitorg dah hilang...suspen jugak kitorg bila dia tak de kat tempat dia turunkan kitorg..ye la,sebab kitorg pun jadi lama plak kat ombak sunset tu..tgh tunggu pic siap ehh budak tu dtg balik..rupanya dia dah siap settle hantar customer lain lagi kitorg tak settle lagi dengan gambar ombak sunset...hahahahaha....suspen kejap kitorg sbb kitorg tak bayar lagi cidomo tu,so takkan dia blah kan...tapi cari2 area dekat2 tak nmpk pun dia....terima kasih dik sebab tak tinggsl kitorg..kalau tak,subhanallah,jauh ooo nak jalan dari ombak tu main road gili t....

dah settle semua we back to the main road and back to our hotel..penat sebenarnya sbb keluar dari pagi...so we just decide back to the hotel tukar2 baju, rehat sekejap then kuar balik...nak mandi laut pulak!....hehehe....

so,our evening avtivity is mandi laut....this time,memang tak banyak pic yang kitorg amik.. sebenarnya,tak de pic pun...muahahaha..sebab memasing bateri fon tggl sikit,biarlah i ingat dalam kepala je all the memories..all the happiness at Nia n Mishka faces...seronoknya diorg main air... nasib ada yati n kalid,layankan Mishka sebab mama kene layan kakak yang tak mo masuk dalam air sedangkan adik tak nak kuar dari air...hahahahaha

something that you both couldn't do at home

petang tu kitorg just lepak tepi pantai main2 n mandi laut...macam biasa dah puas lepak tepi pantai,mandi laut kitorg balik hotel sambung pulak mandi pool kat hotel...ni la rupa pool hotel kitorg duduk...recommended hotel ni...budak2 yang serve kitorg memang sporting diorg...friendly...walau ade la kurang sikit gere and there,still worth your money...waktu kitorg duduk ni ade bilik still under construction..reason to come back kot...sebab bilik kitorg kat Bale Sasak ni pun bukak pintu jalan 10langkah dah boleh terjun pool ok...malam2 dengar other resident duk mandi pool..and the best,diorg tak de pun restricted hour fot the pool...mandi je la bebila korang suka nak terjun....hahahaha....

and our 2nd day end up with this to lil monster kepenatan pukul 8 dah tido!hahahahaha.....so i just stay at hotel and Kalid with Yatie keluar tapau makan for me..hei,they also sempat buat facial ok! cisss...siap makan bakso la,pancake la....demmit...hahahaha....this is how our 2nd day end....jgn kecam kalau kata my trip isn't glamorous or happening..we do it our way...

diorang hanya tersedar keesokan pagi nya...hahahahaha...ehh,kakak bangun makan kejap..

****sorry for those who expected beautiful scenery and beautiful picture.next entry k...

ok,lets do the maths for day 2 ok....

brunch at Blue Beach                      idr130k
bike rental                                        idr60k/day
jajan                                                 idr40k
cidomo                                             idr70k/pax
ombak sunset picture                       idr170k/pax
hotel day2                                        idr100k/pax
dinner                                              idr25k

total day 2 : idr595k @ rm189

LOMBOK : A DAY AT GILI TRAWANGAN PART 1

bersiaran kita kembali..sambung lagi cite pasal gili T ok...sebab 2nd day ni kitorg memang fullday kat Gili Trawangan...mlm sebelum tu kitorg decide nak join snorkeling 3 Gili's or just pusing2 Gili Trawangan je..dah timbang tolak darab bahagi semua and i cant promise Nia gonna behave,so kitorg just decide stay je kat Gili T,xjoin pun snorkeling. kat Gili T ade je jual pakej snorkeling to 3 Gili's ( Trawangan,Meno and Air) and mostly semua jual that pakej for idr 100k...dari pukul 10pagi smpai 3 petang,include makan sekali...rasa rugi sebenarnya tak join tp i

know my baby,she not gonna cooperate la....reason for mama to come back!hahahaha.....

so after breakfirst and short session at pool kitorg pun sesiap kuar nak jalan2 pantai..and kitorang duk lepak kat kafe Blue Beach plak pagi ni...tp kitorg memang dah standby bawak swimwear for budak2 kot2 la diorg nak mandi laut....sambil2 brunch tu i just let Nia main tepi pantai tu....makan kat Blue Beach ni ok,nasi goreng seafood dia sedap la..Nia habis gak sepinggan..and we just seat there santai2, borak2 smbil background yg mendamaikan itu....i just love all those time...xde nk pk pape....just enjoying playing around with kiddos...

mana la hati tak tenang,borak2 ni pemandangan kitorg..hahahaha

3 of us...best friend forever..dah mcm nia nye lego friends plak...hahaha

and all those lepaking time,of coz the happiest person i think is Harith Mishka Darius la kan.... memang i just let him play with the sand...kusyuk dia..something that he cant get at home... ocean breeze....panas pun dia xkisah pun...

his 1st beach sand party....and he enjoy the most....

maybe i was born to be a beach boy mama???

maybe you are my son...mama dont mind if you wanna be a beach boy..mama pun boleh ikut sekali kamu duduk pulau sekali k....nanti kamu dah besar,kot2 mama ade rezeki,kita settle down somewhere nak Mishka???hahaha..kakak have to follow her husband someday,so mama will be a clingy mama la nanti...hahaha...so to my dear future daughter in law,watchout..you gonna date mommy lil boy...haha

back to the story,we just le the time pass and around ...letting our kiddos play and play and play and play...kata nak dtg berehat,so xpayah la nak penatkan badan..ikutkan hati nak je bersun bathing mcm mat n minah salleh tepi pantai tu..muahahaha......

Mishka and Batrisyia...kakak yang menjaga adik2....

teman main and gaduh Nia,kak Tisya dia...hahahaha...best friend sampai besar tau sayang2....mama sayang dua2...

mama pun sempat selfie satu dua pic...kat sana tak pegang sangat fon...mcm rugi kan,xamik pic sgt tp i just need my own memories to...memang Subhanallah tak lepas dari mulut... either sebab pemandangan lawa sangat atau sebab mamat salleh hensem sgt...hahahaha...nak dijadikan cite i bawak my sis camera tp rupanya kamera tak de bateri..hahaha..and unfortunate us,kitorg tak bwk universal adaptor..maka tak dpt la caj bateri kamera tu..bateri fon pun nsb ade power bank...hehe....

amik la sekeping dua selfie dari i....time ni rasa mcm ehh best nye kalau ade gopro!...

selfie 1!

ingat senang ke nak dapat shot ni????ntah bape kali snap ntah...my lil princess....

he really enjoying all those time...

and yess,men in white never fail to catch women hearts!

kitorg gerak dari cafe around 12pm mcm tu...kitorg plan nak pusing Gili T naik cidomo yakni kete kuda diorg tu tapi dari pukul 11 - 2pm diorg tak amik org pusing gili sebab time ni ramai tourist yg check out n check in so diorg hanya amik customer yg drop off to hotel or yang nak ke boat.... so ingat ye,nak pusing Gili naik cidomo, naik la lepas pukul 2pm ke atas..the best is around 4 la..nanti smpai kat Ombak Sunset tu petang2...

to kill the time waiting for after 2pm,kitorg just go n rental a bike....since i and yatie have to rental a bike with baby seat, maka kene rental kat luar sbb basikal kat hotel xde yang ada seat baby...it cost us idr 60k for each bike...yati dengan one baby seat and i have a bike with 2 baby seat...tapi since waktu nak amik bike tu nia melalak tak mau naik,so i jalan kaki je jalan2 dengan kalid..we walk jauh jugak la...tengok2 usha2 hotel2 yang ada....and bila you have your beach walk,mulut tu tak habis la istifar... memang Allah Maha Besar,Allah Maha Agung...terbentang luas indahnya dunia ni.....

air dengan langit mcm lebih kurang je kaler dia.....

area pantai memang mostly ada cafe2 yg santai..pilih je..tak duduk hotel diorg pun, order je air or ape2..boleh je chill2 lepak2...

Yatie tgh practice bawak beskal..hahahaha..i tak pe,expert....

kekonon nk tgkp pic tapi anak2 tak bg kerjasama...hahaha

ni cerita sampai pukul 1 pm ++,baru halfday..cerita lain sambung lagi next entry,macam dah panjang plak cerita nya...detail kos pun i will let u know at the next entry....chill....kitorg pegi memang nak berehat,sbb tu memang santai je holiday kitorg..jgn expect kitorg buat mcm2...

see u next entry k....doa la jin rajin ni merasuk lama sikit...hahahaha

LOMBOK : ITS THE DAY 1

hello hai....i'm still in my post vacay withdrawal....

hahaha...masih terbau-bau terbayang-bayang pantai kat gili n lombok tu.....

before i can't remember all the detail baik tulis cepat2..i sure after this ramai nak g lombok tu...

surely i recommend,pergilah...tak dapat g maldives,bora-bora,sipadan,pergilah lombok....

tu yang mampu buat masa ni....

all this started at last mac if i not mistaken waktu AA buat promo free seat.....

my Kalid la gatal tgn check2 price tiket dpt murah,not so cheap but affordable la...sedangkan hari tu kitorg tgh happy2 duduk hotel Sucasa tu...muahahaha...total sorang tic dalam rm110 sbb byr guna kad kan ada charge,tu yg jadi rm110/pax..my tic n Nia dh booking sesiap...tiket Mishka i just add on waktu nak pergi tu,rm100 for international flight for infant....

ok,lets go straight to the day its happening....cerita2 pasal before pergi and all the preparation tu,kalau rajin nnt kita rewind balik....

our flight was on 19.10.2015 depart at 8.40am from KLIA2...flight is 3 hour so we arrive dalam almost 12pm waktu lombok...eoo ye,waktu Lombok tak de tukar from waktu Malaysia....

before boarding..Nia dengan Trisya

dalam flight..kasi penuh tank memasing dulu...adik 3 jam lena tido dalam flight

depan bandara Lombok.....

sampai je airport,we already have my friend punya kawan tunggu amik barang dia...so that friends yang tolong carikan taxi untuk kitorg ke Bangsal,jeti untuk ke Gili Trawangan...sebab kitorg stay Gili T for 2 malam and Senggigi 1 malam....from Bandara to Bangsal is around 2 hours,and we get a taxi cost around idr 200k..untuk makluman,kitorg tak de booking any transport or hotel pun dari KL..semua main terjah sajo...and we glad we do it that way...memang memula dah book Le Pirates kat Gili T tapi atas sebab ada kekangan,we cancel it...

so we arrive Bangsal around 2.15pm and dengan perut yang berkeroncong mintak di isi dan anak2 yang ketiduran dalam taxi,kitorg terus je naik speedboat to Gili T,memula nak naik boat biasa tp suddenly its raining plak that time and kitorg pun dh kebuluran..muahahaha...naik la sppedboat, its cost us idr 85k/pax,kids a free...kalau naik boat biasa tu dalam idr 22k/pax after taxes.sebab naik speedboat dia ada stop at Gili Meno and Gili Air,so we arrive Gili T around 3pm...

dalam boat..adik memang happy sokmo....

arrive je kat Gili T,we all terus cari any cafe!misi nak makan oi.tapi dlm kelaparan tu sempat jeling laut..masyaallah,indahnya ciptaan Allah.....kelaparan dah..hahahaha..and we stop at this 1 cafe,Ocean 2 cafe...kalau turun je dari boat tu,you just go left side of the road...jalan2 depan sikit nanti jumpa...Nasi goreng seafood dia ok,dan air buah dia pun ok...and we lucky we stop there sbb when my friend round around tgk2 hotel,ada budak restoren ni suggest kan kitorg 1 hotel and we really satiesfied with the hotel even ada few kelemahan jugak la..yang penting murah...muahahaha...makan harga kat Gili T ni xde la murah sgt...standard je la...1 plate Nasi Goreng Seafood cost you idr 30k/ and air buah cost you idr 15k.currency 

budak2 ni sampai je dah main pasir..

ni restoren tu

so si Kalid pun ikut la that guy pergi tengok hotel,how it is...we just hanging around the cafe jer..tp dlm dok tunggu kalid,depan cafe plak ade mini market,berulang la layan si Nia tu beli eskem la,beli air la,beli ceklat la...habis jgk idr 60k jajan2 je kot....then,Kalid say ok to the hotel,meh la kita check in yer...we stay at Bale Sasak...it cost us idr 300k/night with the extra bed...tapi malangnya tak de plak pic kitorg bergambar kat hotel tu..muahaha..ada pic kat swimming pool aje...sebab after check in,we just terus terjun swimming pool...muahaha...swimming pool kami yang punya....ok la, free extrabed,ada swimming pool, and staff yang sangat2 membantu...kitorg dah buat hotel tu macam sendiri punya hotel...muahahaha...dapur dia habis yati kerjakan....hahahaha....

memang the children is the happiest la bila masuk pool...
si Mishka tu smpai xmo naik la...

and we just layan diorg pool sampai almost 6pm la sbb sini pukul 6 pun dh gelap...after that kitorg just rehat,mandi2 then dalam pukul 8pm++ baru kuar cari makan malam....malam ni kitorg jalan la sepanjang jalan kat Gili T tu...memang happening la kan walau blackout sekejap 1 pulau... kalau clubbers memang heaven la..open clubbing je kat sini..tp sebab kitorg kuar awal,so org still in dinner mood,tak de la jumpa org mabuk..hehehe....Mishka pun terjoget2 dengar lagu kuat2...hahaha...

dah penat berjalan kitorg decide makan kat area stall dekat dengan jalan ke hotel..sbb dah penat jalan..muahahaha..and Nia pun dah cranky,mengantuk...upah bagi budak cranky adalah ini!rasa boleh tahan..its a gelato,bukan eskem biasa tu....rasa mcm minum jus strawberry bila eskem tu cair....

Gili Gelato! 1 scoop idr 20k/2 scoop 30k/3 scoop 50k

so we end our 1st nite free and easy je kat Gili T...

belanja pic Gili T yang lawa ni...

dari dalam boat,Gili Meno

kind of gloomy sikit sbb baru lepas hujan this time wkt kitorg smpai...

the night life...nasib dah ade anak...muahahaha

so,the summary...total cost for day 1 is.....

taxi              idr 70k/pax

boat             idr 85k/pax

jajan            idr 60k

makan         idr 120k

gili gelato    idr 20k/scoop

hotel            idr 100k/pax

**all the transport and hotel is divided by 3 sbb kitorg pergi ber3... :)

total 1 day : idr 460k @ rm146

COUNTING DAYS : MY 1ST HOLIDAY,AS A NEW ME

as this entry publish,another 4 days to our trip to world heaven.....

my 1st trip as a new me with 2 people that was stood still beside me...

and with my forever gf n bf,Nia n Mishka...their 1st beach trip toooo.....

pray that everything goo smooth with this 2 babies.....

travel single isn't in my list,but unfortunately it turn like that...

that beautiful sunrise n sunset spot with my loves,i should back there someday with someone maybe.....but now i fill all it with my Hanania n my Harith .....

**half of my soul already fly there.....see u there lepiratesbeachclub this 19th!

MISHKA IS 1 !

sorry my baby Mishka...
too lil story about you here....
whatever is it,mama always love u....

last 30.9 , Mishka turn 1 !
how time fly so fast...
the last love i could save is your love Mishka....
thank Allah that He send you to my life as He takes my other loves.....
you complete the incomplete me....
no matter what the hardship,i hope that you will grow as a lovely, nice and a good man....
i couldn't give you everything that you want,
but i promise you every blood that through my vein,
every tears that falls,
every laugh,
its all yours....

be a good Muslim
be a good son to us
be a good brother to your sister
be a good man to your woman
thats all i would ask to you

Happy Birthday Harith Mishka Darius

I'm sorry i couldn't give you the party that you should have...
but you will understand one fine day
mama love you to infinity

------ >>> when everything goes wrong
                 having you is the only right thing happen
                 thank you for choosing me as your mother
                 i'm not good enough,but i will always love you unconditionally